DeeEmZee

The next day was an early start as we joined a coachload of tourists headed for the DMZ. We didn't really know exactly what to expect, as we'd heard all kinds of things about dress codes and restrictions on photo taking etc, but the chance to get a sneaky peak over at North Korea was too tempting to pass up. There was a Korean tour guide on board who kept telling us about the area and seemed to be trying to make it all sound rather lovely and nice. She was possibly a bit too jovial for the job, a fact highlighted when we crossed the Imjin River. She told us how the river is often used by North Koreans trying to escape to South Korea, but they rarely survive so it's not uncommon to see bodies floating down the river. All this delivered with a smile and a giggle... Weird. On the way back across the river later in the day, she interrupted herself to exclaim 'Oh look, there's a body now!', only to laugh hysterically when we all leapt up to look and announce she was only kidding. She also insisted on referring to the North Koreans as 'very silly', for building an expensive modern city near to the border to make the country look more advanced than it really is, or for trying to erect a flag pole higher than South Korea's. Very silly isn't quite the term I'd use to describe Kim Jong Il to be honest. Psychotic maybe, but silly suggests he likes to play pranks on people, rather than the kind of person who'd spend millions on importing an entire brewery from Scotland brick-by-brick while millions of his people die of starvation.

Anyway! After having our passports checked by an armed soldier, we eventually arrived at our first stop - the 3rd Infiltration Tunnel. About 30 years or so ago, a North Korean official released the information that North Koreans were digging around 12 tunnels under the DMZ in order to invade the south. So far, 4 of these tunnels have been discovered (it worries me somewhat that they haven't found the others yet). We sadly weren't allowed to take our cameras down the tunnel but if you can imagine a tunnel that Becky couldn't quite stand up straight in with her hard hat on then you're pretty much there. It was a long and uncomfortable walk down to the end, but it was an interesting experience. Much of it had been painted black to look like coal - part of a cunning plot by the North Koreans to disguise the tunnel and make it seem innocent. 'Oops, we accidentally dug a tunnel into South Korea in an area where there's never been any coal! How foolish!'. See, they really are very silly. After an exhausting hike back up the tunnel, we were taken into a small cinema to watch a film about the DMZ. From the opening Top Gun style music and idyllic shots of a young girl chasing a butterfly around a field, it quickly became clear the video wasn't entirely without bias. Bizarre statements about the DMZ being an international symbol of peace and the last place on Earth where nature and man could co-exist in peace were bandied about over shots of Kim Jong Il shaking hands with people and smiling a lot. The closing scene was of the little girl again, with all kinds of animated animals running about and generally making the whole thing seem truly ridiculous.

Next up was the look out point, where you can actually take a peak over at North Korea. On arrival we discovered there was a yellow line about 3 metres from the wall, beyond which you aren't allowed to take photos. One of the first things we saw was a tourist being made to delete photos by a soldier. The next duty for the soldier was to pose for hundreds of photos with tourists, so while he was distracted, Becky took some sneaky pictures anyway. There were also some telescopes like the ones you get at the seaside so you could have a look at some small towns and people working in fields.

After piling back onto the bus, we headed for the train station, where we could get a train to the North Korean capital, Pyeongyang. Supposedly. We had read shortly before our trip that the border was completely closed recently on the North Korean side, due to the South Korean government announcing that they were cutting down the amount of money they gave to Kim Jong Il. When someone asked about this, the tour guide denied the claim completely. Anyway, we had a wander about and got some fake immigration stamps (we were told not to put these stamps in our passports, as apparently the last person who did got stopped at customs for 18 hours or something on his way out of Korea. It was still kind of tempting though). There was a small display with photos of George Bush helping to open the railway. My favourite picture was of him attempting to sign a concrete sleeper whilst holding his marker pen upside down.

Finally, we got back onto the coach and headed back to Seoul. Our tour guide obviously decided that she could relax and started telling us all about her drinking and shopping habits. As we passed the Parliament building in Seoul she said 'This is where the politicians spend all day sitting around telling lies'! She then told us we were going to make two extra stops at an amethyst factory and a green tea store - clearly some kind of deal was set up with the tour company to try to make extra money off us. The amethyst factory was frankly extremely dull and luckily the guide seemed to pick up on our unhappiness at this unexpected stop so skipped the green tea. After grabbing some food, we made our way to the bus station and headed back to Gwangju with the girls.

All in all, the DMZ was one of the weirdest places I've ever been. Although we found it hard to take anything we were told seriously and my description may seem somewhat negative, it really was interesting, quite sad and I'd say a must do for any visitor to Korea.