Kids Say The Darndest Things

One of the greatest pleasures of teaching here, is the funny things that the children say to us. Sometimes, they say such lovely things. A little girl told me last week that her mum says I'm very beautiful, although this was somewhat overshadowed when she told Alan that her mother had called him "handsome, like a God". They often tell me that Mr. Armstrong loves me, as if it's a shocking revelation, which is also pretty funny.

Some things that we tell them, also seem very funny to them. Alan tried to explain to his students that his mother was called Mrs. Armsrong, and that in fact his entire family shared the name. They found this very funny and probably still think that it was just a big joke! When I told one of my classes that I was from England, they looked confused "teacher? English in England?", meaning, do they speak English in England? When I said "I'm from England. I am ENGLISH", they found this hilarious, and started pointing at where it said "English" on the front of their exercise books, and saying "same same". I then had to explain that the fact that the language they learn and the name of my nationality are the same, is more than just a strange coincidence. I must confess that I made a big X with my arms and said "English, not from Canada, not from USA. English from England". I don't feel too bad though, because apparently Alan has also demonstrated this point on the board. It seems necessary, otherwise they are concerned that their teachers may not atually know how to speak English (especially when we accidentally write 'colour' rather than 'color' on the board).

At other times the things they say are just wierd. One of my students touched the moles on my arm, and asked me in wonder what they were. Alan's students seem mostly to be completely obssessed with his beard, oh and one class went through a stage of constantly calling him red panties, because on one ocassion when he lifted his arm to write on the board, they caught a glimpse of the red band at the top of his underwear. This continued until, one day, having had just about enough Alan came into class and threatened anyone who mentioned the nickname with 'no goodbye' (what we call detention).

Although still funny, some of the other things we hear are pretty tactless. I have been asked on a couple of occassions (when wearing baggy clothing, may I add) whether I have a baby in my belly, and once when I said no, they kindly told me that I was looking fat. The other day one of my sweetest students looked at me seriously and asked me why it was so black around my eyes. One of Alan's students informed him that he looks very old and now some of them have started calling him Grandfather teacher (although he claims that this is only because of the beard).

This very frank attitude to appearance is not always limited to the children. Our experience so far has only been positive, but there are lots of stories of others being refused to try on clothing because they are "very big". The funniest thing I've heard, was from an English girl we know, who works in a state school. When she met the director of education for the area, he asked her if she was pregnant. When she (slightly put out) informed him that she wasn't, he insisted, saying "are you sure? I think you should go to the hospital and check".